Sometimes a word, a gesture would ring in our minds and looking up, we'd see the other staring and we would recognize that vulnerable, uncertain look.We knew at base what it was about. I did anyway. I loved my sister. The uncertainty wasn't about that. It centered about our lust. We'd danced around it, slowly at first, with a gradual opening and increasing intimacy. Some time ago I'd confessed to her that I wanted to make love with her. (Actually, I think I told her I wanted to "fuck" her.) At once out, I wanted to bite my tongue. I'd have given anything at that moment to take back those words. Not that I didn't mean them. I did. But I knew I'd crossed the Rubicon with those words and the felt a sinking feeling with the irreversibility of it all.Jean handled it well, at least on the surface of it; she was an uncomplicated, up-front girl without guile. She had simply said something like, "Me too, but we're not gonna do that, Billy. That's incest." End of discussion. Or was it?Clearly. "That's very good," he sounded a little condescending in his metallic tone, "Do you know what day it is?" I shook my head; I have no idea, maybe Friday? "It is Thursday the twenty-sixth of February, three thousand twenty one." Thursday? That felt wrong, but I couldn't think why. My head was really starting to hurt."Last question then I will let you sleep." I nodded, "Do you know what your name is?" I started to nod, of course I know what my name is, everyone knows their own name, mine is ... it's ... My eyes got wide in shock and I sat up. I can't remember my name; I don't know who I am. I tried to speak again but only rasping sounds came out. "It's okay, you don't have to speak, just nod or shake your head." His ever calm tone was almost infuriating now. I shook my head, a little too hard, it made my neck spasm in pain, I gasped and leaned back into my pillows again. "it's okay that you don't remember, it will come back to you. Try to rest now. I will bring you something to eat in a.
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